Gain reference experiences, sharpen the blade, grow, improve, transcend.
Traveling around the world…..changing lives for the better…..spreading goodwill…..I think this is something I want to do myself in the future. And I would love to document it.
People who are stronger than me
People who are smarter/more intelligent than me
People who work harder than me
People who are more mindful than me
People who are more confident than me
It gives me something to work towards; something to surpass. A perpetual end goal. I love it. I love the journey.
It was actually at a club that I met him. He approached me and said how he wanted me to help model and promote his clothing line. I’m definitely going to, but I don’t care about that really. The guy is in awesome shape, owns a Mixed Martial Arts dojo, is a state champion in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Wrestling, and various other disciplines, and seems like an all around intense individual.
This man has to train me. He has to.
Its one thing to have knowledge of what to do, but its something else entirely to actually go and do certain things. I’m a little disappointed and annoyed with myself for not doing some of the things I should be doing. Something so simple like choosing not to eat crappy foods, or getting other things done when the time calls for it. I SHOULD be performing when the situation calls for it. I have the know how, now I need to just do it!
I need to stop bullshitting; stop being weak-willed. Just do what you freakin should be doing! Its like I’m afraid of what my life could be. It’s what’s called a success barrier, but why? I have no reason to be acting so weak. I’m going to remember this feeling of disappointment, cause I never want to feel it again. At least not towards myself. This isn’t cool. I’ll get it together though. As soon as I wake up.
No more bs. No more thinking “one of these days”. One of these days will become NOW for whatever it is that I aspire towards. And if you’re reading this, make TODAY that day for yourself. The little bitch in me dies starting today.
Cold calling people left and right at work. This stuff is SO much more fun when you put your actual personality on the line. In my opinion, the principles of being good at this are similar to the principles of being good at approaching women, except this is on super hard mode cause the person on the other side has no idea what you look like. Which means there are no nonverbal cues to subcommunicate intentions. It’s like playing social dynamics on legendary. Lmao
It sucks to have old childhood friends upset at you and not even know. One of my close friends since the 5th grade has apparently been really upset at me. Well, lots of my old friends have been upset at me; feeling like I neglect them and don’t ever reach out to them to hang out or anything anymore.
Part of me feels bad cause it’s not like this is something I do on purpose. I just tend to forget to reach out to people sometimes. Also, my life has become really fast paced in this past year so far. But you know what? I’m not sorry for that. I’m not sorry for the journey I’m on. I’m certainly not sorry for going after my dreams.
Besides, a phone works two ways right? It’s not like I’m leaving anyone behind or anything.
And took a good look at myself in the mirror, and said “You can do better”. I don’t completely understand why I felt that way or said that, but I know I will be making a few changes to how I live my life in the next few days. I am not entirely sure how I will do this, but I have a general idea, and that includes going for broke to become aware of the amazing things that are possible. I’ve been holding back on myself too much.
To truly build self trust, one must be getting acquainted with new/challenging situations. I’ve gotta push myself to meet the unknown. Its the only way to truly cultivate that centered groundedness which I long for. Its like I’m afraid to accept my own glory and success. Enough of that. Time to embrace what my life COULD be like and LIVE that.
I was on a train, going somewhere, I don’t know where, why, and what I would do when I got there. I was sitting in front of this beautiful woman.i could feel her gaze piercing through me and vibrating by sense of existence. I turned and started talking to someone. I knew that girl was listening.
I started telling the person why I was on this train and described to them the sensation of wanderlust that made me do this. Its the sense of nostalgia that one gets when traveling and going on an adventure that made me to on this trip.
Anyway the train flies a bit to get us to where we have to go. The scenery outside the window is nothing short of amazing. So I finally land and start walking through this town. I stop and talk to hear two girls about tumblr and we all exchange ours.
Then I walked across the street, and it all of a sudden was nighttime. Suddenly I hear this loud screaming. It sounds like people writhing in pain. In fact, everyone near me in the town hears it. Then we see it, a car full of people lit on fire. These people are going to die and we have to help them. Apparently there’s furniture to me and so I move it to find an almost empty bottle of Arizona iced tea. No matter, we all wanna save these people.
People start running towards the car to try and save the people, but to no avail. All of a sudden, someone who I thought was also trying to save them, runs towards the car and hits the window with a baseball bat. Then he proceeds to hit innocent civilians. Its actually multiple people doing this, which starts a riot in town.
One the guys (who resembles a kid I went to high school with), charged at me with his Nbat, swings and I parry it with my Arizona bottle (its apparently a glass bottle so it breaks. Now I’m holding the top part of the bottle and can use it as a weapon since its sharp. He sees this and knows this, so I say “chill” and start chasing after him (to scare him off). It worked and hr left. However people were still fighting. “What kind of town is this!?” I thought to myself.
Then we started capturing these troublemakers so we could have the cops arrest them after. We had them in the backyard (the town has turned into my house). This guy comes to up to me, a rioter, and tells me he promises he isn’t violent, he just wants to get out of here. I remove the lock on the door to my backyard and let him out. They capture him anyway. I grab a wooden rod and use that as my new weapon instead (mostly to block and parry attacks).
I go outside to tell my ‘comrades’ that that guy didn’t mean harm. And this guy in all black cocks his gun and points it in my face. “Do you want to die?” he asks me. He can tell I don’t want to lose my life. Not here at least. He, and multiple other guys dressed in black (I guess they planned the riot), take over my whole house and everyone in it, even the townspeople who were capturing the troublemakers. In fact, there’s a huge group of these guys dressed in all black, who are running this. I get a gun thrusted to my back, and I start walking where they make me, which is to my living room. Then the guy starts laughing, talking about “This town is all mine now. We own and can kill anyone and everyone.” Its then that I quickly realize that this is a dream and I can wake up at any time I want. I IMMEDIATELY wake up, and feel absolutely relieved that this wasn’t real.
Makes me appreciate my life a whole lot more.
No, the whole day was great actually. From the mini Skype date I had, to the workout I had (which was one of the most intense I’ve ever had), to finally going out clubbing with my boys after so long.
My house dancing is getting better. I also got approached a few times tonight as well which was interesting. One of them approached me while the guy she was “with” was right behind her. The other, was this older woman who apparently has seen me at the gym but never said anything. That’s going to change. Let me add that she also did this in front of the guy she was “with”. She also happens to be quite the milf archetype. Just saying.
I did also get approached on the dance floor quite a lot actually. I don’t know what it is, all I know is Ive been given about 3 free admission passes for next time. Anyway, my friend and his girl got in an argument, which was annoying, but we ended up hanging out just the guys at the end. That was a great time. Its going to be an interesting and eventful summer. Aww man…..
Of course, the best part of the night is falling asleep in my bed, nice and cozy. Company would be nice :P goodnight!/good morning!
seen a kid walking down the street with their parent? The parent walking normally, holding the child’s hand, and the child skipping, jumping, just itching to experience something exhilarating. That’s child’s mentality is what I want my own life to be like, in the form of living at my edge, responsibly and morally of course.
I’ve been so satisfied with my physique lately. Seeing these guys at the gym, seeing these guys being posted on the fitness blogs I follow, hell to the FUCK no, I am not near satisfied. Every time I feel like I’ve reached the top level of what I think I’m capable of, I find that there’s a level even higher than that to achieve.
I want Tom Hardy’s shoulders (so they look like football helmets), I want the traps of Elliot Hulse, I want the legs of Adam Charlton, I want the abs of Lazar Angelov, I want the chest of Matus Valent, and I want the autonomous proportionate physique of Arnold.
This isn’t one of those posts whining about “Omg I wish I looked like them I hate my body”. NO. I like my physique now, but I’m fucking INSPIRED to get stronger and improve. I want to level up!
Gonna be in that gym grinding for EXP. Trying to hit level 99 and break the level cap in this bitch.
My older brother’s friend Phil, is a professional male model. He was on the cover of an issue of menshealth magazine once, he’s literally always traveling; from Australia, to Beijing, to California, Vegas, Europe, etc. It’s ridiculous.
I just find it funny, cause he’s always telling us stories of how he gets hit on on instagram, facebook, dating sites, etc. But we were talking in the gym today and apparently the man is deathly afraid to approach a woman. You’d expect a guy who literally has so many options to be fearless when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, but just like any other regular joe schmo, he’d have to summon the courage to go and say something as simple as “Hey” to a woman.
And then you have guys out there who give literally zero fucks and are absolute approach machines when it comes to women. But I think in Phil’s case, he’s built an ego/identity around him being a male model who women approach, and so he’s afraid to experience the cognitive dissonance of having a woman reject him if he puts himself out there. It makes sense and is completely understandable.
It seems social anxiety and things of the sort are blind to its victims. At the end of the day, when it comes to dating, attracting the opposite sex, etc, it comes down solely to who has the most self-trust and isn’t afraid to put themselves out there. Because when you GENUINELY put yourself out there, not everyone will like you. In fact, the trade-off in this is that people will either really dislike you, but when they like you, they’ll REALLY like you. That’s what’s so exciting about this stuff. I swear, I’d love to be a dating coach in the future.
My mom came back for me. I missed the funeral, but I was able to make it to the church service. I’m just really happy to see that my friend is doing okay. You know, these past few years, I thought he’d become jaded and ‘different’ from who I knew him as. But seeing him consoling his family, being the strong one; even though he’s the youngest of his siblings, laughing and bringing smiles to others’ faces, that’s when it hit me that he hasn’t changed a bit. He’s still my friend. He’s still my brother, and I still want nothing more than to just see him and his family be happy and do well. I feel so much better than I did this morning. It doesn’t change the fact that I need to get myself together when it comes to priorities and learning to be more selfless, it just brings me an overwhelming yet humbling sense of inner peace to know that they’re going to be okay.
I’ve learned quite the lesson today, that there really is NO place in the world for negativity. Like, this stuff just shouldn’t belong in a person’s life. Yes, cry when things hurt you, get frustrated, get angry, but let it motivate you to do better. You see what I’m saying? It’s more about transmuting negative energy into positive and productive energy. I plan to go to his house with my other friend tomorrow. The three of us were best friends since the 2nd grade, and we still hold that same sense of camaraderie that we cherished so much as kids. Getting into all types of shenanigans as kids, living like brothers, 10 years later we’re going to reopen the book and write the rest of the chapters of this story. Tomorrow, we rekindle our friendship, and our brotherhood.
Today has turned out to be an awesome day.
I never visited because I didn’t know what I would say. That was my reason, but I also just kept putting it off, thinking you’d always be around anyway and I would eventually.
And then I missed the wake, because I was too busy doing my own thing. I couldn’t stop being so self absorbed in my life for a few hours to go provide support for a family who has just lost someone.
And then this morning, I couldn’t even get my dumbass out of bed to go pay my respect at the man’s funeral cause I stayed up too late last night doing stupid things. My friend lost his father here guys. This kid used to be my best friend when we were little. I could have been there for him. I SHOULD have been there for him. I never once visited his father when he was sick. I was too absorbed in my own story, selfishly enthralled in my own life.
Now he’s gone and I’ll NEVER get to see him again, ever. And all I really had to do was put my own life on pause for a second. I’m so mad at myself right now. Why do I make these stupid decisions? Why am I so selfish?
I need to get my shit together. I am infinitely sorry, but that won’t bring back what was lodr or what I could have and should have done. It doesn’t expel the fact that I fucked up and never said a proper goodbye.